The Grim Reaper stayed true to his-or is it her-word. They came back the next day. I saw Derek fall down in the garden… I just knew it was happening.
“Look, don’t even try pleading with me here.”
Watching my husband die in front of my eyes left me feeling queasy and unsure as I walked back to the house. I checked on my two sleeping daughters, fully unaware of what had just happened. I went to walk back down to my room when I felt sick and ran to the unused bathroom up there. I hardly made it, and once my head was located above that toilet, I let it all come out. And when I was done throwing up, I laid back, and cried.
The feeling of nausea didn’t leave me the next day. Or the day after. I watched Addie play with the little blocks in her room, when it hit me again.
I just felt so stressed out, left caring for two toddlers, and the simple fact that my husband was dead left my emotions all over the place. It was wreaking havoc on my body too, with the nausea I just couldn’t seem to get rid of. Two crying toddlers who were fully dependent on me didn’t help much either, but when they were quiet, I had some time to think. I was holding on for them.