How had I missed all the signs? All of them. The frequent bathroom breaks, the nausea. It was easy to pass off the exhaustion, I got no sleep, but… I just… it was easy to… I wasn’t paying attention to myself. And now… oh Watcher. What was I going to do? I was pregnant for the fourth time practically in a row since my marriage. Derek hardly knew me as anything but pregnant. Now, I was pregnant, with two toddlers, on my own. I stared at my reflection and growing baby bump. How had I missed it?
My daughters, they don’t understand it. Addie hardly mentions her dad, and Lexie, she never does. It’s likely she doesn’t remember him at all. They go on with their days as nothing’s even changed. But how are they supposed to understand that I’m pregnant, that I can’t do as much? By my third trimester, I don’t know what I’d do. I just held it together for them. I went on for them. I went on with my day too. What I’d give to be a careless toddler right now.
I felt a dizzy spell coming on while I was clearing their plates. Thank Watcher I hadn’t actually collected the plates yet. There was so much to be done, and I couldn’t do it sometimes.