Chapter 3.17: Time

Things have been so awkward since ‘The Blow Up’ as Lexie calls it. I don’t know how we’re supposed to get through two whole more years of this! Yes, Mason has 2 more years of high school left, and Lexie, one year. It’s possible Lexie could move out herself, if she can’t take it. I’m the only one who has to stay, after all. Lexie and I are the only ones who are talking. She goes to great lengths to not even see our brother and I’ve decided not speaking to him is enough. You can feel the tension in the room whenever he’s in it, though. Mostly, it’s when we’re trying to watch tv…and I decide to focus on the show, instead of them.

Lexie seems to have been doing better with school. She seems happier when she comes home now. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m her sister and not her mother. Ever since mama died and I’ve been the oldest (and the adult) I have to do everything, I had to grow up faster than I know I should have had to.

I heard a knock at the door and went over to open it.

“Is it a good time?” Lucinda asked.

“Luce! What are you doing here?”

She smiled, walking in. “I wanted to see you.”

Moments like this made me remember what I wanted. Not what I wanted for my sister, or my brother.

“It’s a very good time.” I whispered into her ear.

“Really?” She asked, staring into my eyes.

I pushed her hair out of her face, smiling. “Definitely.”

We made our way up to my room…and it was my first time going ‘all the way’.

“Luce…” I whispered breathlessly. “That was – ”

She rolled over to face me. “There are no words for ~sex~ are there?”

I eyed her. I was plenty old enough to know what sex was, and to know the real word. Mama had always called it ‘woohoo’ when we were little.

“Hey, are you okay?” Luce asked. “I know the first time is different. You don’t know what you like, and…”

I cut her off. “Lucinda, I’m fine. Just to hold you like I did was all I wanted. You’re the only girl I would have ever wanted my first time to be with.”

She held my hand, threading her fingers through mine. “Really?”

“Yes.” I said. “Really.”

She twirled my hair and sat up. “There’s something else I had to tell you.”

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I was on vacation 🙂 I have two more chapters written out & just need pictures!