Today’s Thursday. As in, Thursday, the day before the embryo transfer. Out of the thirteen fertilized embryos, eleven ended up making it through the blastocyst stage. We had decided to implant a day five embryo, instead of a day three embryo, just because it gave the embryos more time to develop. Four of the eleven embryos are grade six, the highest level, two are grade five, zero are grade four, two are grade three, two are grade two, and one is grade one. Grade six embryos have the highest chance of resulting in pregnancy, so they think there’s a good chance I’ll be able to get pregnant.
“Adelaide, your uterus looks perfect,” Dr. Mireles smiled, “and there’s a really good chance the transfer will work tomorrow and you’ll walk out pregnant.”
“That’s great news,” I glanced over at Dani, and looked back to the ultrasound screen. It was very possible that next time we were looking at that screen, we’d be seeing our future baby.
“Do you two have any more questions?”
I shook my head and looked to my beautiful wife as she nodded.
“Yes, actually. It’s been pretty hard going through this without people to talk to that can relate, you know, that have gone through this and understand.”
Dr. Mireles nodded. “Yes, that’s something many of my couples have said. One of the nurses here that has done in vitro is actually starting a support group. She has two kids now, and wants to help other couples and single women get to know each other and provide advice. I can give you the information if you’re interested.”
“That would be great.”
I had no idea Dani had wanted to talk about all this. I mean, yeah, we talk about it, but I’d never even thought of going to a group. This is all sort of personal… but I suppose it could be good. She’s right, not many people can relate to sticking themselves with needles for weeks and the pure anxiety this whole process brings.
“Hey, you’re ok with going to the group, right?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t know you wanted to go to one.”
“Well, I wasn’t thinking of a group, exactly, I just wanted to meet other people who knew what this was like.”
“Hello, everyone! Great to see everyone again, and I see some new faces!” A woman that appeared to be the group leader nodded towards us, smiling.
Everyone was sitting on little seats in a shape somewhat resembling a circle.
“Yes. I’m Adelaide Clemonte, and this is my wife Dani. We’re doing our first embryo transfer tomorrow.”
“That’s great news,” one of the other group members said, “I’m Eva Keely, and I’m 14 weeks pregnant.”
I smiled, glancing at her small baby bump. “Oh, congratulations!”
“I was pretty lucky, this little one took on the first try,” Eva grinned, motioning for the couple next to her to introduce themselves.
Well, I’m Jayla, this is my husband Chris, and we were trying to get pregnant for three years before finally doing in vitro. And, so far so good, we just finished our second round and I’m currently 4 weeks!”
I saw the other group members’ faces light up. It was obvious that Jayla’s pregnancy was new news to them.
“Jay, that’s great!”
“We’re really excited!” Jayla gushed.
“Congratulations! I’m Vivian and this is my wife Cori. We’re currently going through our fourth round of in vitro and we really hope it sticks!”
My eyes widened. “Fourth?”
Cori nodded. “Yeah, it’s been hard. Turns out we’re not exactly fertile. Neither of us, we’ve tried both of our eggs and both of us have tried to get pregnant.”
“Gosh. I hope it works for you two this time.”
“So do we. Hopefully you guys have better luck than us,” Cori smiled slightly, laying her head on her wife’s shoulder.
“Well, this is our second meeting, and it’s great to see more people here! I’m Lise, I went through three rounds of in vitro and have two kids now because of it! I’m also a nurse here, so I’d be glad to answer any questions, of course.”
I can’t believe we’ve never thought of this before. There’s just something about being able to talk to people that get it. We’ll get to go through this next part of life with others also going through it. We’ll be able to get tips from the women farther along in their pregnancy. Eva’s already 14 weeks and she’s said so much about what to expect already. She said the early weeks of pregnancy are rough, and that she had to take days off because it got so bad. She works in the kitchen like Lexie, so they literally told her to go home when she threw up, since they thought she was sick. I hope I don’t get too bad morning sickness, but I haven’t been so lucky with things like that so far.
“I’m so glad we went,” I said truthfully.
“Me too,” Dani replied, taking my hand. “Adelaide, we really have to decide about the embryo’s sex.”
“I know. Let’s talk about it upstairs.” I still wasn’t sure. Any time I thought about it, I ended up frustrated since while having a little girl would be adorable and the easy thing to do because of the legacy, a little boy would be just as cute. And I didn’t want to have a girl just because of the legacy! Yes, I’d love her –
“Sweetie.” I looked up to Dani’s bright green eyes looking into mine.
“Um, right. What do you think?”
“I don’t have a preference, honestly. I just want to be a mom with you. But I know that the rules of the legacy-”
“No,” I stopped her, “I don’t want the legacy to have anything to do with our decision.”
“Adelaide, that’s not realistic. It’s there, and it’s a part of your life. I was part of a legacy family, I know what it’s like.”
“You weren’t the heiress.”
“I know, but…”
“No, I’m sorry. Sorry. I just don’t want the legacy to impact this big part in our life. And I’m not feeling 100%, these hormones are really messing with me.”
She squeezed my had comfortingly. “It’s okay. I know you’re going through a lot. But you know…the legacy has already impacted this part of our life… it’s one of the reasons we’re even doing IVF.”
“Can I be honest here?”
“I think we should have a girl. It’s something you’ve probably been thinking about for years and would take a huge weight off you.”
“Really? But I don’t want to have a girl just to get it out of the way…”
“You’re not. Wouldn’t you have wanted a girl at some point anyway? Even without the legacy?”
“I think it would just let us be able to fully enjoy all the little moments since, you know, having an heiress is over. We wouldn’t have to think about anything besides our little girl.”
“So…we’re having a baby girl.”
“Yeah? What do you think, though?
“I think you’re right. I don’t want to have to worry about anything else besides our newborn baby.”
The rest of Thursday went by in a flash, and soon enough, we were getting ready for the transfer. These months have really all been leading up to today. To make today go perfectly. It hasn’t been easy, but pregnancy won’t be either. Neither will parenthood, but we’re ready. We’ve been ready.
“Ok, did you make a decision on the gender?”
“We did,” I smiled at my wife.
“We’ve decided to have a little girl.”
Dr. Brennan smiled widely. “A little girl. That’s precious. Ok, Kaya will administer the diazepam now, Adelaide, so you don’t feel the procedure.”
I nodded and squeezed my wife’s hand. I started to feel slightly out of it, which most likely meant it was working. My eyes stayed glued to the ultrasound screen where I could see our little embryo being guided into my…um, uterus. I hope it sticks. That could be our little girl. I felt the tears falling slowly down my cheeks just thinking about the possibility. It is a miracle that this is even able to happen. Now all that’s left is for it to actually happen. I could hardly speak to simply say okay when they informed me to lie still, this moment was so breathtakingly special. This could be the moment I get pregnant.
“Adelaide, you okay?” Dani asked, coming back to my side now that the transfer was done.
“I’m perfect,” I replied softly, still mesmerized by what had just happened.
“The transfer went great. You two can come back in two weeks for the official pregnancy test.”
“We will. Can we take a test at home before then?” Dani asked.
“Yes. It might not be entirely accurate since the pregnancy would be in the very early stages, but you can if you wish to.”
I pulled my eyes away from the ultrasound screen where they’d been glued this entire time to look over to my wife.
“Hey,” Dani whispered, her eyes watering just as mine were. I didn’t even need to reply before she laid her lips atop mine.
“We…” I trailed off, looking down at my belly and I felt a huge rush of emotions just thinking there could be our little girl in there right now.
“We’re going to have our family,” Dani finished for me.
The thought of it not working was enough for me to quickly turn back to her. “If it doesn’t…”
Dani rested her hand against my cheek, replying softly, “Hey, sweetie, we will have our family, I promise. We’ll have our four little kids running around. They said everything looks great.”
“I know,” I whispered, “I just want this so bad.”
“I know. I want it too, and it will happen.”
I knew Dani must be just as scared as I was right now, and I was so grateful that even through her own fears she was being strong for the both of us. Those minutes seemed like forever, and even one they said I could move around again, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. Maybe if I just laid there, we’d have nothing to worry about. But that’s not realistic, not even a little bit. I was supposed to take it easy the rest of the day, and I was really glad Dani had convinced me to take the day off. I ended up practically laying in bed all day, watching movies with Dani right next to me. I ended up falling asleep in the middle of one of the movies, and I suddenly realized there was so much I wouldn’t be able to do, or wouldn’t feel like doing if I was pregnant.
And I know Dani’s going to be right by my side for all of it. She’s going to be there through everything pregnancy will bring. All the good things and the bad. I’m so grateful for her, and I can’t wait to raise our daughter together.
This could be the beginning of our new lives. The beginning of being parents. And as much as we thought we were ready, I was sure there was just as much we didn’t know.
A/N: Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, it just took so long to get screenshots, but here you go! Also I don’t have get to work, so I’m improvising for the hospital scenes 🙂