I rushed up to my room to get dressed for the party, shutting the door behind me with a click. I looked through my dresser quickly, looking for the right thing. This was the first big bash since coming back from break, and it had to be memorable – and I wanted to be memorable. There was even a rumor going around that Aiden had actually managed to get a bubble blower and I hoped he did. They were so extra which is perfect for a party like this. I put on a particular outfit that I had planned to wear for a while and twisted around, looking at it from all angles.
I bought these shorts for summer but they show off my legs and it’s not like I’m going to be outside too long. I like my body, so what’s wrong with showing it off? My sister actually has a pretty nice body, too. I’m pretty sure she has bigger boobs and a more noticeable ass. Too bad that Sera doesn’t care about how she looks because she could definitely be hot if she tried. Now the only problem is getting out of the window in this dress… I don’t want to risk getting caught so going out the window is the safest option. Going all the way through the house to get to the front door means I might run into one of my younger siblings – or even worse, my moms – so I’ve gotten pretty good at this whole window thing. My moms put in this new glass awning over the hot tub last summer which has been very helpful in sneaking out. Second floor windows are no joke! I went over to my keyboard, pressing the replay recording button. I don’t know how long ago I recorded this, but it works every time. Everyone thinks I’m in here playing, while I’m really having fun somewhere else. I looked around the room and pushed open the window. Just as it finally went up, I heard my door open. Shit, I forgot to lock it. I quickly yanked the window back down and turned around to see my sister.
“Hey,” I said, and I could feel my heart pounding.
“Where are you going?” Ugh, why does she have to be so observant and get all up in my business?! It’s annoying!
“Uh, what do you mean?”
She sighed. “You’re wearing that and your sneaking out music is playing. I’m not stupid!” No, you’re not, are you?
“Okay, so what? It doesn’t affect you.” I turned, opening the window again.
“Vali, I don’t want to keep doing this…”
“Doing what? I’m the one going to Aiden’s party, not you,” I retorted, rolling my eyes. “Unless you want to come?”
“What? No. I need to study for my history quiz.” Of course she does. Seraphina, always the good kid.
“Then what’s the big deal?”
“You go out all the time.”
I scoffed. What was she implying? We’re totally different people. So what if I like to have fun? “And?”
“Stop playing dumb!” She groaned, raising her voice, “you’re always doing something and I’m tired of covering for you!”
“At least I’m not a hermit who never leaves the house. And I never told you to cover for me – let me get caught if you want.”
“I don’t need a third mom, Sera! Drop it!”
I slid out the window, 100% done with the conversation. I pushed the window closed harshly just to make sure she knew I was pissed and made my way down the awning. Watcher, it’s cold in January. It doesn’t help that I’m wearing almost nothing, either, but it’s not like the party is outside.
Aiden Novero has a pretty nice house with a lot of open space – and most importantly – parents that are almost never there. Because of that, he always has a bunch of super extra parties that everyone wants to go to. The neighbors are apparently super chill or whatever since they never say anything which makes it all the better. It looks like a normal enough place from the outside but the inside is where it’s at. Aiden always goes all out and it’s great. There weren’t too many people around in the main area – most people were going somewhere private in the house if your know what I mean. I glanced around, but I couldn’t see Amaya, Emily, or Kyle. A few minutes into wandering around, someone I didn’t know – but apparently recognized me – asked me to play some songs on the piano. I’m not sure why, especially since the small DJ booth Aiden had set up was cranking out pretty loud tunes, but it’s not like I had anything else to do at the moment.
“How did we not notice you?!” Amaya exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me up from the seat. I jerked away slightly, startled.
“Dang, don’t scare me!” I gasped, then looked to both of them to answer Amaya’s question – although I’m not sure if she was really asking. “I dunno. I even texted you both I was here.” Everything had been pretty crazy so it made sense that they hadn’t seen me. There was even a kid doing whole comedy routines that adults wouldn’t approve of, but there were a decent amount of people crowded around them getting a good laugh. I don’t get how people can not like parties. They’re fun and crazy, and you can get away with anything.
“Dang, you did text me!” Emily groaned, “I even have my ringer on high, but it’s so crazy loud in here!”
“Yeah, it’s crazy. What’s going on?…”
“Eh, not much. We tried some of that bubble blower shit, though,” Amaya snickered.
“What?! You guys! You shoulda waited!”
Emily laughed. “Yeah, but we didn’t even know you were here, remember? Come on, we can go check it out with you now.
“Yea,” Amaya agreed as we walked towards the direction of loud laughter. “Show us how it’s done!”
I stuck my tongue out at them. “Why’d you expect me to be good at this?”
“Uh, cause it’s your kind of thing,” Emily laughed as we sat down.
“Oh, come on. I might be a bit of a bitch but I’m not into fucking drugs!” Yeah, I was pretty hyped to check out this bubble blower shit, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to like vape or shit every day! There’s no way in hell I want to get in trouble for being high cause I was probably get grounded for life besides vaping fucks you up and I don’t want to be addicted to that shit.
“Okay, so you just suck it… and then blow,” Emily instructed me.
“Uh, are you sure YOU aren’t the one who knows what they’re doing here?”
“I’m just repeating what some dude told us. Besides, sucking on this is good practice for you…”
I rolled my eyes, practically gagging at the thought of her comparing this thing to a dick. “Shut up, Emily!”
“It’s that shape!”
Amaya gasped as she finally realized what we were talking about. “Wait, Vali, are you doing it tonight?!”
Emily gasped. “You didn’t tell her?!”
“It was implied,” I shrugged, taking another sip of the bubble blower, “after all, I did say I was ready.”
“Well, yeah…” Amaya sighed, twirling her hair. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”
I groaned. “Okay, no offense, but I don’t care. I’m ready to experience sex. You know, people have killed over sex. People do some crazy shit for it, so it must be good, right?”
“Oh, there’s definitely nothing wrong with sex. It’s probably great. But I’m not ready for it yet,” Amaya explained.
“Yeah… I’m waiting for marriage,” Emily said, and I snorted. She’s such a hopeless romantic, believing in happily ever after and all that shit. I mean… who wouldn’t like the idea of living happily ever after with a hot man? But uh, it doesn’t work that way, and it’s not like the fourteenth century! You don’t have to wait for marriage anymore!
“Okay, tbh, I kind of respect that. But there’s no way I’m going to wait like 15 years. Plus you all know I don’t exactly care too much about serious relationships right now.”
Amaya nodded and she looked over to where everyone was talking. “Hey, I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” Emily said to her, then she turned back to me, pointing towards the bubble blower. “So, what do you think?”
“Ehh, it’s interesting, but it’s more like glorified fruit juice than some serious drug which I guess is good.”
Emily laughed. “Glorified fruit juice? That’s hilarious.”
“What? It’s true!”
She laughed, looking around. I really have no idea how the neighbors never shut these parties down but my guess is they don’t want to tell Mommy and Daddy Novero that their son is a bad boy. His parents are obviously made of money. Emily’s eyes widened suddenly, and she looked over to me. “Holy shit, is that a Juul?”
“Uh, yeah, it is,” I nodded, rolling my eyes. I might not be smart, but people who do drugs are a whole nother kind of dumb. She turned back to me and I thought she’d seen more drugs with how big her eyes were, but she just pointed over to the group of people.
“Vali… look, Amaya and her man are – ”
“Kissing,” I finished, gasping. I swear that she and Emily can have such a traditional approach to romance sometimes; I never thought she would have her first kiss at a party! Damn.
“And here come your guy,” Emily winked with a smile, “good luck.”
I grinned, looking over to see Kyle. He lit up when he saw me and rushed over. “Hey, babe.”
I wrapped my hands around his neck, kissing him – hopefully the first of many tonight. He wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me close. “You look so hot tonight,” he whispered, “I mean, you look hot all the time, but…you know what I mean.”
I blushed, resting my head on his shoulder. “Yeah, I do.” Even though we weren’t like serious or whatever, he always made me feel so good. He was a hot guy that was also super nice – the whole package. We even called each other boyfriend and girlfriend so I guess that’s serious to some people, but we don’t like love each other or anything, and I’m fine with that. I was thinking of how to beat casually drop that this was a great time to have sex when he started to bring me over to a relatively deserted hallway.
“What are we doing?” I asked him coyly.
He simply smiled, laying his arm around my shoulder. “I’m just spending some time with my girlfriend.”
He leaned in to kiss me and before I knew it, we were heavily making out. It was nothing new – we have a quite physical relationship – and soon I found myself pressed against the wall as we kissed faster and faster. He slid open the closet door and I smirked, going inside. As he slid my shirt off, it finally all hit me. This was really happening.
“I can’t believe my first time is going to be in a closet,” I murmured. It was a quite small coat closet with jackets hanging behind us and shoes stacked neatly into rows, and there was a small light hanging above us that he’d already turned on.
He suddenly pulled away, looking at me with a shocked look. “Wait, you’re a virgin?”
“I’m about to not be,” I replied cheekily, brushing my hand against his cheek.
He stepped away, brushing his hand through his hair. “I – I can’t. It just feels wrong.”
I could feel my heart thumping in my chest and I bit my lip. “What are you talking about?”
“I dunno, I just think you should save it for someone better – a guy you’re really serious with.”
“Kyle, you’re my boyfriend! We’ve been dating for like a year! I want to fuck you!” I whined, taking his hands.
“Do you think I’m attractive?” That was the most typical reason for someone to not want to go all the way, right? That they aren’t into the other person?
“Yes! Yes, you’re really hot.”
“So what’s the problem?” I couldn’t help how snippy I was getting. He was just making absolutely no fucking sense. He was ready to fuck me a few seconds ago but now that he knows I’m a virgin he isn’t interested?! That’s supposed to be even more attractive!
“I just feel weird about taking your virginity. Shouldn’t it go to a more deserving guy?” he sighed, meeting my eyes with his soft blue ones.
I rolled my eyes. Since when was he such a baby? “You know what, Kyle? Go fuck yourself. I could have any guy I wanted, but I wanted you. And since you don’t care -”
“I do care!”
I scoffed. He obviously didn’t give a shit. “Yeah, right. Just go!”
He tried to take my hands but I yanked them away with a glare. “What part of go fuck yourself do you not understand?” I screamed at him, trying to give him the nastiest glare on the planet.
He moved away in surprise before finally leaving and only once I heard the door click shut did I allow myself to cry. Why didn’t he want me? I knew I was hot to him – he said so all the time – so what was the problem? Was I not smart enough? Just plain out not fucking good enough? God, why am I crying over that piece of shit?!
He doesn’t deserve my tears. I screamed as I tried to process what had just happened and yanked all the coats down from their racks while tears streamed down my face. I kicked the shoes that had been lined up nicely; kicked the wall, too. Why? Why?! I took a deep breath and pulled out my phone camera to make sure my makeup was okay. That goodness that they make practically indestructible makeup now – I can’t believe that mascara used to actually run which makes it so obvious you were crying. I looked fine. Absolutely perfect. I stepped out of the stupid closet and ran into Emily.
“Hey, I was just looking for you,” she said, looking around, and dropped her voice to a whisper. “So…did you…”
I looked away, trying not to think about it. “No. Can we move on?”
She nodded, squeezing my hand. She knew that it was something that was important to me. “Well…Amaya’s sitting in the other living room, crying.”
My eyes widened. I wasn’t the only one that had a shitty time? “Why?”
“She didn’t say,” Emily sighed, “come on.”
I nodded and we both made our way over to where Amaya was. At least it was keeping my mind off of my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend? What are we anymore? Emily and I sat down next to Amaya, who was still crying.
“Hey… tell us,” I said softly, sighing. “If it helps, I didn’t get laid tonight.”
She opened her eyes, looking from me to Emily. “My boyfriend – well, now ex-boyfriend – cheated on me,” she whispered.
“How dare that asshole!” I groaned, scanning the room for any sign of that horrible excuse for a human being.
“I walked in on him kissing some bitch over there,” she muttered, gesturing towards the other side of the room, “and he said ‘well, what did you expect? You’re going too slow.’ ” Her eyes welled up as she retold the story as Emily and I hugged her. Sure, Amaya was going slow, but he should respect that, or not lead her on at all!
“I’m so done with this party,” I sighed.
Emily nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
“Me three,” Amaya whispered, cracking a small smile.
Emily looked around at everyone who was having a good time. “So…are we going home?”
“Yeah,” I sighed, and Amaya nodded her agreement. We all made our way outside, and I sucked my breath in at the cold winter air hitting my skin. We squeezed each other in a big group hug before rushing off to our cars. The drive back to my house wasn’t too long; much shorter than Emily and Amaya’s drives, as they had to go all the way to Oasis Springs. My phone lit up with one text just as I was making my way over to the awning that I now had to climb up. I glanced at the text and quickly replied just to make my point.
‘Can we talk?’ – Kyle, 1:18 am
‘No.’ – Valentina, 1:19 am
I shoved my phone in the pocket of my skirt before pulling myself into the awning. I made sure to put that de-icing shit up here because if it was icy, there was no way I could get up there. I schooched over cautiously as to not make any noise before yanking on the window. Why isn’t it going? I pulled up on it for a while longer before I had to warm up my hands. It was like 20° F outside. Twenty fucking degrees! Wait… did Sera lock my window? That bitch! If she did… I gave the window one more yank and it finally opened. Of course Sera wouldn’t do that, she’s too perfect to do something that petty. I pushed the window down and quickly changed into my pajamas before making my way over the bathroom to get off all this makeup. Tonight was shit. Absolute shit, no questions.
“Vali.” I jumped up, turning to see my sister.
“My god, Sera! What are you doing?”
She sighed. “I just wanted to talk.”
Oh, I was so done with peoples’ shit today. So, so done.
“Well, I don’t,” I snapped, and Sera’s face fell. I began to walk away, but instead, I spun back around and sighed. She looked at me, surprised.
“Okay, what?” I asked her. I don’t know why I turned around. It would’ve been so easy to go back to my room. Maybe it’s cause everyone I know had a shitty night. Maybe it’s cause I just wanted to feel like I did something right today.
“I have a boyfriend…” Sera whispered, and my eyes widened. She was so private. I never thought she would be talking to me about dating. She must really be trying to make up for our fight, I realized. I’d really had enough relationship talk for tonight…but I didn’t need another person to be sad. She obviously has good intentions – like always.
“And? Tell me more,” I smiled, and we walked over to my room.
“I dunno… he’s funny,” she bit her lip, and looked down. “What’s it like for you? Being in a relationship?”
I didn’t exactly want to talk about my relationship right now – I don’t even know if Kyle and I are still going to be a thing tomorrow. But there was something about the way she asked that made me want to answer. “It’s…nice. I think about him almost all the time. I’m really attracted to him…” Really, really attracted.
“I don’t know if I like like my boyfriend,” she admitted, “because…I don’t like want to kiss him or anything.”
“Uh, then you don’t like him,” I said simply. Why would you even date someone if you aren’t attracted to them? “Is there someone else you like?”
“Well…not really.” She looked like she wanted to stop talking about it, but she also didn’t at the same time. I was still surprised about how much she had opened up – we almost never talk to each other anymore. We were never close. Is this what sisters normally do? Talk to each other about important things? I considered telling her what had happened tonight – but I didn’t. It’s like I said. We’re not close. It would just be weird to open up to her. I don’t even know if I want to talk about it with Aya and Em yet… and we tell each other everything. Sera and I talked for a while longer about some random things before going to bed – not like I ended up sleeping much. I had a lot to think about. Sometimes life is shit. Absolute shit.